SUDUT MIMI: Buka mulutmu, masukkan kakimu (copy)


Pernahkah Anda mulai mengatakan sesuatu dan tiba-tiba merasa Anda harus berkata, “Tidak apa-apa” lalu pergi? Apakah Anda mengatakan “tidak apa-apa” lalu pergi, atau apakah Anda langsung melangkah maju, tetap mengatakannya dan merasa seperti orang bodoh?

SAYA? Ya, ya. Berada di sana, melakukan itu, lebih sering daripada yang dapat saya ingat.

ini sebuah contoh. Suamiku, sebut saja dia Patrick, bermain softball di beberapa tim dewasa di malam hari dan akhir pekan. Dalam satu pertandingan, terjadi situasi yang tidak menguntungkan dimana dua pemain luar, salah satunya adalah Patrick, mengejar bola terbang yang sama. Seperti yang bisa Anda tebak, tidak ada yang menelepon, mereka berkonfrontasi dan Patrick mendapatkan yang terburuk. Cederanya meliputi patah tulang belikat, kaca retak, dan gigi terkelupas. Rekan setimnya, sebut saja dia Gary, membawanya ke rumah sakit, di mana kondisinya dipastikan dengan sinar-X, sebuah gendongan dipasang di lengan yang terkena, dan Patrick, yang sekarang menjadi anggota mantan pemain sayap kiri tim) mengambil obat penghilang rasa sakit. Kami telah diinstruksikan untuk menindaklanjuti dengan dokter keluarga kami sesegera mungkin.

Kami melakukannya dan keesokan harinya pergi menemui dokter kami, sebut saja dia Dr. Cappy. Dia meninjau hasil rontgen, mengajukan beberapa pertanyaan, dan memberi Patrick resep obat penghilang rasa sakit. Di sinilah saya harus menutup jebakan. Saya punya hak untuk tetap diam, tapi saya tidak punya kemampuan, untuk memparafrasekan komedian Ron White. Dengan bodohnya saya bertanya kepada dokter: “Apakah Patrick masih bisa bermain piano setelah bahunya sembuh?” Malaikat yang lebih baik yang duduk di bahu kanan saya berkata, “Berhenti sekarang!” Namun, setan kecil yang duduk di bahu kiri saya berkata: “Berikan dokter sesuatu untuk ditertawakan!”

Tentu saja, seperti yang Anda duga, dokter berkata, “Tentu saja dia akan melakukannya.” Jadi saya mendengarkan iblis dan segera menyesalinya: “Aneh. Dia belum pernah bisa melakukan itu sebelumnya. Diam, keheningan yang menyakitkan.” Dokter berbalik dan menatapku seolah aku punya tiga kepala atau semacamnya. Suamiku berbalik dan menatapku seolah dia ingin melemparkanku keluar jendela.

Terkadang Anda hanya perlu berdiri di sana dan menerima pernyataan tersebut dan menganggapnya sebagai pernyataan yang sepenuhnya rasional. Tersenyumlah dan keluar dari Dodge. Tidak sulit untuk mengganti dokter.



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